Prague, Amsterdam, Egypt... who needs it? I mean, really, what is the BIG F'N DEAL here?? I just got back from a day trip to Branson (Missouri).
Here is a list of things that Tommy won't find in during the course of travels afar:
WORLD'S LARGEST BANJO!
THREE TIERD GO-KART TRACK!
36 HOLE PUTT PUTT GOLF COURSE! (Don Clayton designed and certified)
ANDY WILLIAMS, LIVE... WE THINK!
THE LEGENDS! (impersonators of Elvis, Beatles, Temptations, etc... a tough ticket to get)
TRIBUTE TO THE LEGENDS! (impersonators of the impersonators... tickets can be had during the slow season)
LEGENDS OF THE TRIBUTES TO THE LEGENDS (impersonators cubed... free to local residents!)
THE TITANIC!
THE ANDREA DORIA! (just kidding... well, maybe coming soon)
ACROBATS OF CHINA!
JUGGLERS OF INDIA!
PLATE SPINNERS OF SARDINIA!
SPEAR CHUCKERS OF ZIMBABWE!RIPLEY'S BELIEVE IT OR NOT WAX MUSEUM!
AUNT MARTHA'S MUSEUM OF WAX! (where you can learn that wax has a melting point above approximately 45 °C (113 °F), which differentiates it from fats and oils)
DICK CLARK'S ROCK AND ROLL THEATER! (Dick and Brian Wilson sing a great duet, "Hellllup Neee Wonduh")
3RD BUSIEST WALMART IN THE U.S.!
ROY ROGERS AND DALE EVANS MUSEUM AND HAPPY TRAILS THEATER! (see Trigger stuffed and mounted... see rare home movie of Dale mounted and stuffed!!!)
VETERAN'S WAR MUSEUM! (world's largest bronze war sculpture depicting 50 life-size soldiers storming a beach)
ANTIQUE TOY MUSEUM! (featuring the "cardboard box" and the "pot and spoon")
SILVER DOLLAR CITY!
STEAL YOUR DOLLAR CITY!
DOLLY PARTON'S DIXIE STAMPEDE & DINNER SHOW!
THE GRAND PALACE!
BOB'S BIZERKO PALACE (you don't have to wear a clock around your neck to know what time it is there!!)
MORE OLD MEN IN A HAT DRIVING A BUICK AT 15 MPH PER CAPITA THAN ANY OTHER TOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And, so I'm supposed to be impressed with the pyramids?
-Chris Sorg
