"Those were the real Travelers - no money to barter, no planes or buses, no internet to check whether there is a war going on or not. Every day by the sword, in the nervous morning squatting behind another man's tree with little to eat and stomach illness from god-knows-what. Foreign tongues with no Rosetta Stone software or collegiate education. No Google Maps. Ignorant and murderous bandits. Scurvy. Those were the real travellers.."
Staring up at the ceiling, mine as well not be talking to anyone. Thinking lays on a top bunk.
But there was Someone. Someone slowly taking a smoldering home rolled cigarette out of his bearded mouth. A gnarly and wiry arm, covered in bold tribal tattoos, brushed the hair on his dark chin. He said,
"makes you look like a bit of a twat, duh'en'it?"
--
Dear M.S.
I thought you'd like that. Characters are fictional, of course. Have you still got yellow grapefruit peels in your bathroom sink?
I'm happy you are still trying to write. Keep your chin up; desparity and writers go hand in hand. Although it seems that usually writers fall in desparity because they are passionate about writing whereas it seems you are trying to write because you have fallen into desparity. Regardless, there must be some reactive element in the combination. Maybe you need to take a plunge? Or set yourself on fire?
By the way, for my own personal interests, I'd like to know the next time you get that 'feeling'. You mentioned it was always at night, and that it is sometimes loosely accompanied with a tottering dizziness, like you weren't sure if it was a real earthquake or not. Just, if you can check the time next time, lets begin to build a data set. Try to chart some trajectory, make some sense of all this.
I feel your frustration in the Fuckitooem column, but keep in mind you can always find something you don't want to do. If you are a slave to wants, it doesn't matter what the issues are. I am not suggesting you do those things, but beware the aversive passion. Even avoiding what you deem as negative, as harmless as it sounds, still has baked within it a recipe for suffering. You are wanting something that isn't and you are cutting the world into negatives and positives. Double karmic honeycombing.
Love you bro,
Timing is everything.
On this shore or another,
R.L.
