is to let go.
Earlier in this year, I was failing at this quite miserably. Thankfully, my mastery of the second most important lesson of the road, smiling, was keeping me afloat. But smiling on and on, although good for circulation and for smoothing out wrinkles, was not freeing my inner heart from suffering. All of the glory laden golden light conjured a mirage, and in this illusion of joy and peace and love of bygone lives was actually suffering.
Not being lost then, but being lost without Then, It was seemingly insurmountable to change gears. All waking thrashings of mind scrambled to escape. Run! Run! Back to the Garden!
"Stay, stay. Peace, peace...Stay, stay,"
I had to repeat, as one would usher and soothe a startled horse. And here I am.
So it took me time to realize that 2014 is important. It's has become ritualized to reflect, and although I was trying to avoid the cliche, it is there, the new year. This need to shed skin, to put in place the things and places and people now gone, to kill the past: there is a need for a jolt, a sign marked in time, a time for coming back to life.
Wherever you want to go, friends,
first we must take steps
whatever we want to do,
will not happen later.
If we want to be there ---->
but keep our feet pointed <---- p="">If we pray for tomorrow but waste today
we will end up where I was,
where we have all been.
So I know if we keep it in sight
that our lives are our own responsibility
a vessel to steer and repair and command
we will see that where we are is real
having no delusions about the struggles and obstacles ahead
and from there, from a days worth of accepting where we are
from that point on
we can start to be free.
I used to live there once, but I was a different person then."
-t
